From Spaghetti to Sushi to Country-Fried

C'est La Vie

.

They eat all the doggoned bread in the world and they still maintain that willowy figure. They smoke like 'The Royal Scot' that dipped through London. They are also jealous of we Americans because of our power, wealth and consumption. AND they wear those berets.

But the one thing I do agree with that lets me hold hands with something French is the saying "C'est La Vie" which means, "That's life!"; or "Such is life!" It is sometimes used as an expression to say that life is harsh but that one must accept it. You might think, "well aren't you the little Jacques Cousteau!" No, not really....he was a good example, though.

I have learned within the past few years that whatever is going to happen, is gonna happen. The best thing to do in certain situations is to simply let things go. Why dwell upon something that you may not be able to change simply because it aggravates the mess out of you? You'll notice how much more calm and collective you'll remain during times.

Watch what I say though, you have control over your life, you just need to be awake to make the decisions. I feel like my path of life and choices I've made have taken me where I am for a reason. But make that decision and just let it happen!

Being human.

Map_of_humanity

I'm not one to discuss my view on religion and politics--but right now is one of the only times you will hear me speak strongly about it. I am not asking for your praise, nor am I asking for your conviction. I love all of my friends and family regardless if you are a Democrat, Republican, Liberal, or unjustified and understand that what you believe is part of being an American and the freedom and beauty of living in our country.

If you ask my opinion, I will give it to you. If I do not agree with you, I would expect you to respect my opinion, as I respect yours. We are not a communist United States, therefore we still have the freedom to say what we want to say, act as we want to act, love as we want to love, and live as we want to live. I may have mixed emotions on the healthcare reform, as mostly all Americans do, but for those of us who are fortunate enough to have perfect health, a good job, a college education, the willpower to get up and do what we believe is the right thing to do, maybe we should take just one little look into the lives of those who ARE NOT as fortunate as us--or even NOT fortunate at all, for that matter.

I do believe in God, strongly. Although, I grew up in a Christian family, and went to church every Sunday, etc., I have somewhat grown out of the church and beliefs, and funny as you may think it is, I feel closer to God more so now than I ever have in my life. I am not perfect. I will never be. I make mistakes. But, I am more aware of my mistakes and I am more aware of other peoples living, breathing lives and beating hearts that I encounter everyday. I try hard and put past any negative flaw they may have, or I may not agree with, because I believe that this is why I'm here. When someone angers me, or hurts me, I honestly and truly remember that every single person in this world has a purpose in life, something special---in the words of Mr. Rogers ;-) "As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something special that no one else has--or ever will have--something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression." That Mr. Rogers was an amazing man.

To make this long story short, and to get the point of where I wanted this to lead, the below quote is from someone I do not know at all. I have never met this person. In fact, I met her on a YorkieTalk Forum, where we talk about our little doggies? I've heard stories about the healthcare horrors, those who do not have insurance, and are turned away due to their racial status, etc., but for some reason, this won't leave my head.

"I have a 23 year old son that is out of work, and therefore has no insurance. He is so ill that we're afraid we're going to lose him. He's been losing blood from his rectum, and has pain and constant chills in his upper and lower spine. (He fell off a ladder when trying to clean out the gutters) He can't sleep or eat, and he's just wasting away. We tried taking him to the hospital, but as he has no insurance all they'll do is put a bandaid on it, and send it home. I'm so sick of the hospitals and their lack of compassion that I could cry. It's just a big money game to them. I'm trying to get him on medicaid, so if you could all pray that it will go through I'd be so appreciative."

Please, no matter your views, take into consideration other lives involved.

I like to be nice.

Images-1

"I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble." ~Rudyard Kipling

I like to be nice. I can't really recall the last time I was actually mean to someone. I'm not trying to be pompous, I'm not trying to say that I am closer to God than you are, either. I am wholeheartedly claiming that I can not hurt someone elses feelings purely for the fact of making myself feel better, or to seek to get my way in any given circumstance. I just can't. I actually believe being nice ups your chances of getting what you want.

It's almost like, even the simple thought of me attempting an uncomplicated action like this normal, everyday, human emotion, quite literally breaks my heart to the point where my eyes will tear up for even thinking of 'being mean' to someone. "What if that person is just having a bad day?" "What if they just lost a family member or loved one?" "What if they are just upset right now and don't know how else to handle things?" "Would God really throw some crude, witty comment back in their face? (Um, no.)" Those are just a few questions I ask myself before I open my mouth. Sometimes, even the thought before the thought (and there is no better way of putting it) just hurts my little heart. I am not out for pity, I am being 100% honest.

My friends always told me that I let too many people walk all over me or that I need to grow some thicker skin. Gosh, I have heard that more times than I have speeding tickets (and that's a lot). But really, I beg to differ. This is who I am. Unless someone does something to a family member or a loved one of mine, or if I see someone being treated unjustly 'on the street' (I will not tolerate hatred or ignorance) I keep my cool like Chester Cheetah and his orange self laying by the pool eating Cheetos. Again, I am not perfect. I have my balance. I catch myself talking behind peoples backs (which is just as wrong) but I try and catch myself...and when I do realize what I'm thinking, I feel terrible.

Oh, Dear World, this is not a call to take advantage of me even more, I'm just tying to make this place happier, one step at a time and this is a way I know how. And, I really hope that you pay this story forward. Next time you're on the phone with that terrible customer service rep who cops an attitude, please give them a few chances before you reach your boiling point. ;-)

Quote of the Week...

Mr. Loper's thoughts after I told him to bring cookies to an elderly man:

"Cara, men don't bring other men cookies! Are you kidding?"

-Jonathan Loper

Van Cleef & Arpels

I remember walking down Michigan Avenue in the dead middle of winter on my way to work in the mornings. It was cold, grey, and loud. I'd pass Burberry, and Coach, and Cartier and all of those dear stores that I could never possibly afford on my little Apple salary. I never went into any of them nor has my virgin eyes ever really seen any of them.

Picture 1

The only jewelry store that I ever remember was White's fine jewelry. The only jewelry store in my small home town in WV. This is where my Mom used to buy me  Christmas presents and everything was so special to me even though it never compared to any of these places. I love the simple little things.

All of the giltz and glam that came along with the city never interrupted the person I am. I never took the time to go into these places right away because there just wasn't much of a point. However; I must pay homage to an establishment called "Van Cleef & Arpels".

On those walks to work, when everything was so miserable outside, I would pass this store. Imagine everything in slow motion. I'd slow down, stop, and just stare. The sounds of the city and the people would just 'go away' for a few minutes. Van Cleef & Arpels' displays were beautiful and perfectly complimented the jewelry they had on show. It was always some sort of motif. Right now, their focus is on their Midsummer Nights Dream collection. I love the way their designs are twisted and completely out of shape. You almost forget it's jewelry and you think you are in some crazy wonderland where I could consider myself Snow White for just a minute, and all the dragonflies and birds were made of crystals and all things "sparkley".

Just take a minute to visit their website and you'll know what I mean. If you're a guy, you probably shouldn't bother, I think this may be one of those "girl things". =-)

Thank you Van Cleef and Arpels, you were my quiet escape during my loud excursions.

Pretty much perfect.

Picture 2

You ever see that stuuupid movie 'Sweet Home Alabama' with Reece Witherspoon and this guy? Well, if you are a girl I'm sure you have and your pink little heart just melted into the carpet.

Of course the movie was a cute kind of 'brainless' but the character Jake who played Melanie Smooter's Ex was pretty much, in my eye, the most perfect thing since a Claussen Pickle.

This is my kind of fella. Physically, his scruff, imperfect demeanor just webs together with his tiny little crows feet on his eyes when he smiles. This means he smiles a lot in general. Happy camper. Plus 10 points for having a Southern accent even if it is fake.....or maybe not?

Then throw in his "Coon dog". (That's what we call them in West Virginia.) Why is it that when a man owns a dog his "attractive factor" shoots through the roof? And that dog was awesome. Of course he had to die but he resurrected somehow towards the end of the movie.---OhThankGod.

This guy even managed to start his own business of creating these little glass figures from lightning bolts that blasted into the ground and created these odd, tree-like shapes. Well, people obviously bought them because he could afford an airplane that landed on the river. Now how prime is that?

And lastly, his great little log cabin out in the woods somewhere. It has character, its quiet and on a river. I'm all about that. I'll just put my little yellow sunflower dress on and make lemonade all day long and bring it to him down at the shop while he's blasting sand in the ground.

Maybe one day.

50 Things She Wishes you Knew

8078belle-4

I was reading Digg.com and found some interesting facts on a link. I can agree with most of these, but some of them are a bit "Diva" for me and some are just downright completely false and not appropriate. The ones in bold I can say I take seriously. Have fun with this and don't think too much of it guys (and girls!)

50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should but don't understand.
1.    Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
2.    Real men drive stick shift.
3.    I will leave if you lie.
4.    You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5.    I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6.    I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7.    "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8.    Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
9.    I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10.    I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11.    I expect you to call me.
12.    Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13.    I'm scared of losing my independence.
14.    I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
16.    You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
18.    Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
19.    I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
20.    When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21.    A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
22.    You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23.    You should never tell me what to do.
24.    If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25.    Pay attention to us.
26.    If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27.    I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28.    I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
29.    When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30.    I want to be Madonna. Madonna? I'd rather be Audrey Hepburn or someone like that?

32.    I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
33.    You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.  I needed to put this one in bold AND a differenct color.
34.    I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35.    Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36.    I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you and for you to recognize this.
37.    If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
38.    Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
39.    I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
40.    Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. NO WAY, only if you are a teenager!
41.    I love it when you're sweaty.
42.    It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43.    A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44.    I don't want to see your porn colletion or hear about it.
45.    I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46.    Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47.    It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
48.    For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
49.    I remember everything about our relationship.
50.    You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

Quote of the Week

(December 17 - 24, 2007)

Quote of the Week - from Matthew Rosenbloom

"At what age is it socially acceptable for me to crap my pants?" 

-Matt Rosenbloom

Dear Campbell's:

3Andy-Warhol-Campbell-SoupCan-tomato-

Dear Campbells:

Please proceed with making your original Tomato soup and cut the crap with the 25% lower sodium label. Why? Because no one eats tomato soup by itself. I end up adding Mrs. Dash anyway, or pound in the salt and dip in an artery-clogging, butter soaked grilled cheese sandwich so it defeats the whole purpose regardless.

Plus, the low-sodium kind, it tastes like a bowl of sugar and, No sir, I don't like it.

Thank You,
Cara Audia

Quote of the Week.....Focuuuus!

(December 10th - 17th 2007)

Quote of the week from my Father:

"I usually am better focused around someone that isn't focused cause I can focus on them not being focused.
........What did I just say?"

-My Dad

I get it, I look like Cher and Your Friends Sister...

Sonnycher

I get it. I look like Cher in her young days. But heaven forbid if I end up with Sonny over there.

Whenever I meet someone for the first time they always stop for a second and say, "Oh you look exactly like my sister's friend!" And then they brief once more and say, "No! You look like Cher back in the late 60s." I get that about 80% of the time. The other 20% is either Liv Tyler, Fergie (WTF!?) or Jennifer Esposito (yeah I had to Google her too.)

This has come about more so than ever within the past 2 weeks. I'm sure that it's due to me not cutting my hair and I must say, she looks like she could be my bizarro.

I've got you, babe.

Tis the Season...I give up!

Photo

I was hungry. So I decided to pre-heat the oven and throw a DiGiorno in there.

About 15 minutes later I was thinking, "Man, I must have dropped something in my oven last time I made something?"....."No, no....it really smells like somethings cookin' in there?!"

So, I get up, open the oven lid and to my amazement, there was a batch of cookies that I forgot about from 3 weeks ago crisping into an oblivion. Sugar baked all up on the pan, and cookies staring at me wondering why they have been in hell for so long.

I should just STOP all domestic activity and purchase an Easy Bake Oven.

Good People.

Every now and again there is one person who walks into your life and makes a pretty big impact on it. We meet people everyday, teachers, grocery store clerks, waiters, friends of friends, etc. I'm gonna be honest, I try to shoot the breeze with everyone I meet whether they want to talk to me or not, but it doesn't always mean that I remember every single interaction that I've came across.

Within the past year or so, I can wholeheartedly say that I have met 2 new people that I really respect. Really. (This doesn't count my new friends I've met in Dallas, so friends, don't take this personally, you know I adore you.)  Now I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but something about these two people clicked in my head and, like a bell on the first day of school, told me these are people to be respected and kept around for a while.

The first one I'm going to talk briefly about. He knows who he is so no names mentioned. It's kind of a cool little story how we met and even cooler that we talk almost everyday and try and see each other when possible. I think he's pretty amazing even though I'm sure he thinks I'm nuts for believing so. The kind of person where you can one minute spill your heart out to and the next just have a simple, meaningless conversation. I admire his opinions and his pragmatic approach to certain things, because he's honest and he doesn't always agree with everything I have to say. He's got great values too and I haven't met ONE guy my age, yet, that makes me feel the way I do when I talk to him or when I'm around him. I'm not sure if he will ever read this, really, but if you do, thank you for listening to me. You know who you are and I appreciate your companionship. I could talk more about you but this part is supposed to be brief on purpose. =-)

The next little lady I'm going to be talking about is someone who has touched my life through her life. I met her in Chicago and she was one of my 'senior' students.  Her name is Arline. Arline and I would meet once a week. She was in the process of writing a book and needed just a little help getting things started. I agreed to help Arline type in her hand-written pages to the computer as she read them aloud to me. I would go through series of laughing hysterically or crying.

Arline is awesome. She would walk up every single week and everything on her matched perfectly. Her hair is always perfectly flipped so not a strand flew away, and she always had every accessory impeccably matching as well. One day her and I had lunch at a Japanese Restaurant downtown Chicago and that petite little stature of hers could really throw down one of those big Jap beers! Sure she was very prim and proper but I admire Arline for just letting go every now and then. I learned about keeping cool, not letting things bother me and quit sweating small stuff.

Since I met Arline, she has been a bit of an inspiration and has taught me that I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want, be friends with whoever I want and enjoy my life....the way I want. I understand that there are exceptions to life and not everything goes the way 'we want', but your life is what you make it and what makes you happy is what makes you your life and who you are.

At this VERY moment...10:02pm, Monday night

I'm at Barnes and Noble with my friend Chris. I'm sitting next to the Universes' most STANK garbage can. We can't move because every seat is taken. Chris isn't complaining though, he has no sense of smell, I on the other hand was required by my Father to be a armpit-deodorant tester because of my heightened 'olfactory sensory nasal cavity' that God so blessed me with. 

Barnes and Noble is playing the Death-Metal version of Silent night. And I KNOW, this is just AWFUL....there is an old lady sitting directly across from me. I think she may have a mild form of Parkinsons', (bless her heart) but it looks like she is head-banging to the Devil version of this song we hear above our heads. I know, its wrong but it's kinda funny, alright?

Chris just got done video iChatting with Joel and telling him that he needs to "Hold down the C so that it unlocks the optical drive so you can see the biscuit." HEY, that's just what I heard!! 

I'm now going to get back to my job hunt, trying not to let the reek distract me. 

"That's all I have to say about thaaaat." -Forrest Gump

Goin' to the Chapel...that's the whole point.

Wed

BrideZilla: l Brid'zill'a l
n., new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their "day". They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette solely to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married.
-use in sentence: "please shut up about your flippin' wedding, bridezilla."

Now, Carlye, if you are reading this. I love you. Many-a-time have we had this conversation about your wedding and how chill you are about the whole thing. You don't freak out, you aren't freaking out, and you won't freak out, that's why you, my dear, are excluded from the word "women" any time it's in use during this story. The reason why I say this is because Carlye called me and asked me to be in her wedding in September, which I GLADLY agreed to because I know it will A) Be an absolute blast, and B) be creative and gorgeously planned by her and her and I are a lot alike. HA! =-)

But, I sit here in Starbucks in Dallas and there are 4 women at the table next to me planning a wedding. The girl getting married is obviously entering the Bridezilla zone as I type. She is foaming at the mouth about the flowers, the food, the photography, the guest list, the bridal party and everything else under the sun that weddings pertain to. It's kinda making me shake a little.

Not that I haven't thought about my wedding day when I was little, but newly engaged women have entered a twilight zone within the past 20 years and I fear their poor husbands don't wake up next to pig noses. Ohhh, the poor souls.

Why can't weddings just be simple? If I ever get married, it will be easy as pie. No crazy bridesmaids gowns, no $40,000 flower arrangements, if my husband wants to get married on the river, then SO BE IT, I'm OK with that. If the groomsmen want to wear flip-flops WELL bless their little hearts go right ahead! My bridesmaids can choose their own dag on gown and my Mom can decorate her little house until her heart is content. A wedding is supposed to be for one reason and I think that with all of the hoop-la now-a-days, women are getting further and further away from why they are making this decision in the first place. Pretty much ladies, it should be all about your husband.

500 people showed up for my brothers wedding this past April. 500. 9 of us in the bridal party on each side. I'm going to quit while I'm ahead for the sake that I love my brother and sister-in-law.

I guess everyone has their opinions on the subject, that's just mine. I don't want to ever lose sight of why I'm celebrating in the first place.

Who designs this malarkey, seriously?!

What you see below me, ladies and gentlemen, has been brainstormed, sketched, color-schemed, composed, digitized, proofed, finalized, OK'd by an Art Director and published via print and internet. Unprofessionally.

EXHIBIT A: GOD AWFUL DESIGN for a GHETTO as all GET-UP Loan Company.

(Please see below picture....)

Picture 2

Someone decided that it would be substantial! and exceptional! if they advertised refinancing a loan of $300,000 by using this crap. I can hear it now, "Hey, hey....let's like get Jimmy, you know, Susan's in accounting's son, to draw up this cartoon chic with like a sexy look on her face and some killer patent-leather heel boots and a midriff. He's got a computer and does Graphic Design, that would be perfect, we won't have to pay anyone to market for us!" "Dag on it, Mike, you are brilliant, that's the best idea ever!" said the team. 

Call me ill-disposed if you will but any good designer scoffs at something like this. What I'm not sure of is, HOW? How do I struggle and apply for quatrillions of design jobs and end up either getting calls back from companies who create things like this ^ , or none at all. Those of you who know me, know that I know my stuff. I went to school and studied my butt of all the way back from taking my knowledge from the good ol' boys at the Bauhaus to my own creativity and imagination.

Anyway, this isn't about me this time, this is about how illegal this Ad-vert-iz-ment should be. It should be put behind bars and I'm almost ashamed that I'm pretty much contradicting myself and promoting this Ad right now. 

To all my Creative society out there, let's break the silence. You hear me screamin' dogs?

No, not in a million years, You're nasty, please leave me alone.

NO, not in a million years, you're nasty please leave me alone.

Need I say more?

Douche bag

Wins the Award.

Wins the award for the most amusing thing I've seen all day:

Picture 6

Pizza Tumor

pizza tumor
A large burned air bubble that sometimes forms in the crust of a pizza, rendering the slice that contains it significantly less appealing. (I've always wondered what that was?)
                                                                                                         

Example: 

Customer: "I'd like a slice of cheese, please.
Sbarro employee: (Starts plating up the big bubbly piece)
Customer: "Not that one with the pizza tumor!"

THE FIX:
THE PIZZA BUBBLE POPPER FOR $13.

Picture 5

People Watching and Attention to Detail.

Sorry

In this small, pee-wee world it's hard to let things go un-noticed. I'm at a coffee shop down the street from my house and a man just pretty much fixed his junk right, smack before me. I'm not even going to begin to get into it, but if you will, "Proper Etiquette" is just before this tale. This, fo' sho', fits into that bracket.

Still and all, I like to watch people. Not the sinister, creep-a-zoid, "watch" just the, "I'm interested in the human race" watch. Yea....that's different. Much of this is the artist in me. I pay attention to every little detail imaginable. Like right now, a family just walked in. 2 whippersnappers, blonde, cute, little toe-headed children, loud. Strollers everywhere and diaper bags the size of Rhode Island, probably made by Louis Vuitton. Mom has her Chanel sunglasses pushing back her bangs on the top of her head and Dad has an eyebrow. Yep, 'an eyebrow', meaning uni-brow. Bushy and thick. Both parents have extremely dark hair and a lot of it and their babies are almost albino. That's....that's usually unlikely. I support adoption and if I'm going to make up my own story about this family then, for the love of Siegfried and Roy, the kids are adopted, OK?

I remember my best friend Holly and I used to go to the Mall when we were teenagers and we wouldn't shop. Ohhh, no we didn't shop, we sat on the bench like two old women and commented on everyone who went by. Please keep in mind that I am a Saint. You probably think that I'm malicious, but I'm kind-hearted. I don't make fun of people, I just simply pay attention to what they are doing and put them in situations that they are definitely not (or ever will be) a part of. [Ok, I'm not a Saint because I'm sure that St. Teresa of Calcutta wouldn't even dream of it.]

One more example, the lady pouring everyones, completely bewildering coffee requests, (i.e. Venti, no-whip, non-fat, soy, mocha) gives off such a polite heir because she has to, it's her job. But inside, I'm assuming, she is really thinking...."When I get off of work today, I have to race home and paint my face because I have to be at the Smith house to juggle balls and entertain the kids for Jimmy's birthday party, and that is way better than this jerk who came in here and asked for his coffee to be at least 113 degrees Fahrenheit."

See, it's just fun.......I take it all in. Not just people but environments as well. I went to visit a friend in Arlington last week who came in from out of town, and during the somewhat long drive, I really payed attention to how beautiful Texas really is. So, to counteract my people-watching, I watch the world too.....

The lesson for this tale is to pay attention to detail. It makes you a better person in general, it helps you remember names and faces. And, unless it's a man that grabs his 'junk' before you, it helps you appreciate others and yourself and this beautiful creation that we take for granted.

-Cara Jo

Proper Etiquette.

Picture 1

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."  -Theodore Roosevelt

I once dated a guy who's family lived out of state. It came to the point where I had to 'meet the family'. Aside from the fact that maybe once or twice we girlies get caught picking our boogies in public, someone sees us, points, and tells their friends, this is one of the most nerve-racking moments in any young woman's life.

For most normal young laddy's, they worry about things like: "Will they [parents] think I'm pretty?" "I have to make sure I don't say 'shit' or any other unlady like utterance." "What do I talk about at the dinner table?" General, common questions like that usually come from a perfectly normal woman.....Not me. You wanna know what I think in these situations? "What do I do with the bed sheets when my stay is over?"

Now, I've got it down to a complete science when it comes time to getting the parents to love me. My A-Game is aerated to full-fledge and my charms ring like the cash registers the day of a shoe sale at Nordstrom. (My Momma taught me well.) So I'm complete 'legend' in that department. However for the bed sheets, well, that's the stuff that I brood about.

I have a book that is about 500 pages thick titled "Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior". This is something that everyone should own. As a matter of fact, the new etiquette books won't cut it. I have learned so many tid-bits of information from this one book that I could obviously teach the Queen of England a thing or two.

And what ever happened to men with old-school charm and Veteran manners? My father, to this day, still opens up the car door for me. Guys! It may be 2007 but Keep It Real. When you go on a date with a girl, walk her to her doorstep, open ANY portal that leads to where the both of you are going, arrive with a flower behind your back. Don't ask for a doggie bag, talk about your Ex, or answer your cell phone. And for SURE do not exhibit any signs of over the top P.D.A. Certain signs of affection simply don't belong in the eye of the public. Somewhat when your dog mounts an old ladies' leg at a Church picnic. Awkward.

-If you are a boss, or a co-worker, or just someone who likes to get 'friendly' please do not stand so close and invade personal space. To be quite honest, the smell of your breath lights the ends of my hair on fire. So please try and remember to keep a friendly distance. No one wants to share your DNA. I promise. We call you all 'close talkers'.

-If you use your cell phone in a public place, i.e., train, bus, bookstore, public restroom, no one cares about how you ate that sushi last night and it did a number on your intestines. Keep it almost inaudible. And for the love of all things Holy, if you are on a train in the morning with other people trying to go to work, please don't put your phone on Speaker. #1 Have mercy for the poor soul who has no idea you have them on speaker, #2 most of us had an alarm clock to wake us up, we don't need a loud, muffled voice to do it again.

I'd love to sit here with you and discuss proper etiquette and I hope that you found this little piece insightful, but let this be a conversation starter for you one day. Paying it forward also teaches us lessons......and ladies, don't pick your nose.

(For those of you who were waiting for the 'sheet' business, you are supposed to strip the bed you slept on and ball up the sheets in the corner for the owner to wash.......I know, I found it more polite to just ask.)

Let's Talk about Fry's Electronics for a Second.

Picture 1

Let's just talk about Fry's Electronics for a Second. Ok?

I consider myself a pretty cool, conventional, chic. There's one thing that I can say I know, that probably about 90% of other girls in the USA don't: When you get the message 'invalid node structure' on your screen, what to do.

However, I visited Fry's Electronics today. Fry's is a plethora of 'bits' and there are aisles upon aisles of cables, connections, cords and, if you really wanted to, things to help you build your own robot that could possibly pee for you. Ohhhh, how can I put it? To positive social inepts, it's like sending one George Bush (with a gun) into a field of a bunch of Dick Cheney's and letting 'em go nuts. Yeah.......

But, out of all of my years of working with Apple. Have I ever seen so many serious Geeks than I've seen in one hour at Fry's today.

As I was walking past the line that wrapped past the bathrooms for guys to play the flight simulator game, all set up with a comfy chair, joysticks, a huge LCD screen, and their own surround sound system, I noticed one young man that really caught my attention. He is the reason for me writing this story.

He was tall. Very skinny and very pasty and whey-faced. Almost like he has sat inside for the past 10 years under florescent lighting only in the basement of his parents house. Tie up shoes and polyester brown pants. A short-sleeved, white, collar shirt and a tie. Brown glasses. The glasses were so thick, they were yellow. His hair was a whole other world. It was very thin and parted down the middle and, I guess thats ok but he had about 4 strands of hair on his head......Home Slice needed one day with the crew from "What Not to Wear".

Even though the place is filled with nerd-dom, this guy just had to be "Lord of the Dork". Does Fry's have a requirement? I should go apply there and show them up with my 'invalid node structure' skillz? I all have to say is thanks for my Monitor, Fry's. And bless the poor soul's heart that helped me pick it out.

Barbie's Older Sister.

Mattel-barbie-12-dancing-princesses-older-sister-ashlyn

Wow. The nights are getting tougher and tougher. It's 12:49pm and I can't sleep again. I just watched "The Sweetest Thing" and had a few good laughs.

I wish that the dark wasn't so lonely and sometimes it really makes me want someone here with me. Grrr why do I have to be so picky!?

I used to never be like this but within the past few months, night hasn't really been a friend of mine. (Thanks James for reading this and understanding you are a wonderful friend and give a shout out to that sweet-pea Kat for me too!) =-)

During my recent job hunt I came across so many different positions. Particularly on Craigslist.com. I suggest that you visit Craigslist if you haven't ever. It's just funny. Anyway, I took a break from my "Account Executive" and "Graphic Design" position hunting just to see whats out there and I came across this job that, well, I laughed at at first, then I realized that it might not be a bad idea for a few minutes:

Princess Character Entertainer

Date: 2007-09-06, 12:20PM CDT
Tea-lightful Parties is looking for "PRINCESSES" in the Dallas area to bring storybook characters alive for children's birthday parties. It is ideal for high-energy, enthusiastic individuals interested in contract employment. You must have valid TDL, be able to pass background check and work weekends.
If you enjoy children and are looking for a fun and exciting job, this is the opportunity for you. If this fits your description, please e-mail your resume along with a picture to candice.

Ok, now this is DALLAS! 1/2 of me really wants to dress up like a princess and get paid for it, and 1/2 of me really just wants to go to rich peoples houses in Dallas and drink tea with their children to see what goes on in these households!

Now, I don't know about you, but I didn't know that Barbie had an older sister (brunette of course) named Ashlyn? If you don't believe me, look at the name of the picture. Why in my 26 years of living and playing with Barbies as a child did I not know anything of this woman? I mean, I've heard of Skipper.

I thought this was funny and something I actually thought about. Not a good idea and I'm not going to do it but it is actually out there. In Dallas, TX.

It's Gonna Take Some Time.

Cookie

Remember the story about the cherries I wrote a couple months ago? Well, life has, yet again, taught me another lesson that I will carry on to my children. Cherries go bad too if you wait too long to eat them.

Now this isn't meant to be written as a sad story, or an angry one, yet one of choices and the courage to not stop smiling because everything will be just fine.

I quit my job as a Production Artist last week due to obvious reasons. The environment wasn't healthy. And to those of you who really listened to me everyday and understood how unhappy I was, considered that job to be a Viking Curse.

I went out on my balcony today, stood and closed my eyes. I breathed in some air and thought, "I'm pretty happy." Other than the fact of this nasty cold I have, I feel great and I have a chance to start over career wise. So, what am I gonna do? I could be a teacher, I can be a Marketing Assistant, I can ride my bike more, I can read tons of books, I can focus on friends, I can meet new people, I can travel, I can go home for a few days, I can be a freelance graphic designer again. I have opportunities now.

Let's be realistic for a second. Am I worried about not being at work? OF COURSE. That's where the bite is taken out of the cookie. I thought this picture would be perfect to describe me right now. I'm happy and thankful, yet there is one little piece that's gone from me. It is also 12:34pm and I am normally sleeping right now which means I've got a lot on my mind.

So tomorrow I get up and think about what it is I want to do and put the pedal on full speed. This is only a point in my life where I step on my next stone, I'm only in the process of building my bridge to cross it and get there.

Goodnight.

I've Got the Blues for Home Sweet Home

I've Got the Blues for Home Sweet Home

I was driving in my car today and realized I forgot my iPod. I hate when I do that.
So I took the manual knob and clicked one by one until I found a song that I could stand.
Never knew that 88.1 in Dallas played some old Blues. REAL old Blues.....all the way back to 1914 Blues. I mean, we're talkin' 'Butterbeans and Susie', down home Atlanta Blues. That is, OLD.SCHOOL.
Anyway, it instantly put me in a good mood. I listened for a while and purposely drove around so I could hear more. I normally pay attention to the piano in the background, but I couldn't ignore the words in this one song in particular.
"I've Got the Blues for Home Sweet Home" couldn't explain my life any closer to the "T" Please listen and sorry for the sound, it took about 4 hours to find the song so I felt the need to post it for the fruits of my labor. =-)

What Kinda Guy? That Kinda Guy!

Blue

I'm always attracted to these guys who have some sort of fixation on fast mechanics. Like motorcycles or planes or some kind of serious computer that hits like lightning speed or something. Or guys who are VERY good at a certain thing, like taking stuff apart, or fixing things or just have some sort of passion or obsession for something they love. I find it so magnetizing. And to answer your question, No. I have no clue who the guy is in the picture. I found it on some royalty free stock site. I do like his motorcycle, though and I'm sure that he's pretty much obsessed with it too.

It's really interesting when a guy knows what the heck he's talking about. It sends a bell ringing in my head that says "This guy ain't stupid!" It also leads me to believe that I can carry on a conversation with him without wanting to just keel over. (God knows I've keeled over a time or two, and don't get me wrong keeling over is just fiiiiine every now and again, but not everytime. I'm a Leo, I only have 9 lives.)

The only thing that sets me back from saying that this kind of gentleman is merely perfect, is the fact that most of these men have their minds set on their hobbies. Nothing else can distract them. However, this to me, makes him even harder to resist. Knowing the fact that the more you know you want something, the more you can't have it, right? =-)

"Cieste La Vie"

I'm not sure but I think I might want to be proven wrong.

A few of my favorite things:

Ever wonder what its like to just list a few things that you just like? I've always wondered, so I'm gonna take a stab at it and see how it feels, here goes:

Fresh Air, The Food Network, Dancing When No Ones Watching, My Nonnie, Downy Wrinkle Release, Sun, Learning, Camp Fires and the way I Smell the Day After I've been at One,  Soft Bed Sheets, My Family, West Virginia, STRONG Coffee in the morning, Lake Shore Drive, Old Motorcycles, White Tank Tops, Piano in Songs,
BoyShort Undies, Cooking, The Ocean, Shoes...LOTS of cool shoes, Takin' Stuff Apart,
Making Others Smile, Designing, Hot Showers, My House Plant Josephine, Hot Weather, Texas Sunsets, Dogs, Chubby Babies, Going to Valley Falls when I'm Home, Snowboarding, St. Joe's Church, CookOuts,
Driving in the Evening, Beautiful Smiles, Old People, Good Friends, Twisted Tea, My Brother, Road Biking,
Crab Legs, Guys with Southern Accents, Orchids and Daisies, Oreo Cookies or anything having to do with Oreos, Apple Computers, Candles, Ferris Wheels, Butterflies in My Belly, Traveling, My Body Pillow, Sleeping In,
My Volkswagen, Striking up Conversations with Perfect Strangers, Peyton Manning, Old Movies, My Mom and Dad, Being Sovereign, Johnny Cash and Frank Sinatra, Eating Spaghetti at Nonnies on Sundays,
Jokels Home-Made Wine in the Barrel, Reminiscing, Fishing, Ice Cold Water to Drink, Penguins,
4 Wheeling in West Virginia, Girlie Dresses, Tiny Flowers in My Hair on Special Occasions, Chick-Fil-A Chickn' Mini's, Sweet Perfume, Decorating My Apartment, Deep Voices, Old Italian Songs, West Fork River, My Schwinn,
Dad's Hamburgers on the Grill, Relaxing, Good Conversation, Meaningless Conversations,
Chocolate Milk with LOTSA Chocolate, Trees in the Fall, Hearing Stories about My Family History,
Being Tucked In, Having a Little Bit of Money in my Pocket, Actually FINDING Money in my Pocket,
Boats and Being on Water, Care Packages from Family, TV Land aka Nick at Nite, Ojon Shampoo, Clean Apartment, Reading Good Books, Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, Good Cry Every Now and Again, Scary Movies, Costa Rica, Good News, Waking Up to the smell of Bacon and Eggs, Tiny Surprises, Going to Bed Early, Hugs, Looney Tunes,
Other People's Thoughts on Things, The Holidays at Home, Good Music, Stand Up Comedy, Weekends,
Mountains and Hills, Sausalito California

Wow. You should try that. It was nice.
-Cara Jo

The zippo hits the candle.

CupCake

26 years old.
 I can't imagine the heat of the summer when Mom had to carry me around in her belly until mid-August.

Goodbye Apple, Hello Cherries!

Cherrytwig

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Sure, I remember that. And I like apples. The sour Granny Smith kind dipped in some caramel. But I think that defeats the whole purpose of keeping ol' doc away. Who wants to eat a boring apple when they can have a big, shiny bowl of fresh cherries? I remember when I was a kid (and still to this day) my Mom and I would sit around a share a bowl of cherries and watch old Clark Gable and Audrey Hepburn movies. There was some old folks down the street from where we lived who would pick blackberries and cherries and sell them to whoever happened to be driving by. Nothin' fancy, they would plop up a card table and sit there until Mom stopped by to buy them. The sweetness of a West Virginia summer.

At that moment in time, life was perfectly sweet and I really wasn't thinking about anything else other than the the way those cherries tasted. It's so funny to think how something so simple can spark up a wonderful memory.

"Life is just a bowl of cherries." I like this much better and I think when I have children I'll make sure they are aware of it the same way my Mom did.  This brings me to my perspective on what point I am at in my life. Almost 26 (a few more days) and in the past couple of months I have gone from sour apples to sweet cherries.

Call it ironic if you'd like, but I used to work for Apple. Quite a few years to boot. I grew well with the company and I was good at what I did. I taught (mostly elderly folk) how to use their computer. One old man even brought me a pin one day that read "#1 Teacher". I'm glad I could touch someones life a little.

At that time I was living in Chicago, the city was good to me but coming from "Country Roads" it was hard to adjust. I got made fun of a lot. Mostly because of my accent and the fact that I'm from West Virginia. The "did you own a pair of shoes or have sex with your cousins?"  got old real quick. Ive had to explain the whole "my grandparents came from Italy and my grandpa was a coal miner and got killed in one of the worst mine explosions in history just to support his family and have a better life in America" shut them up real quick. But as time went on, 8 years to be exact, I went to college and learned to enjoy my life in the city and take advantage of its joys and just ignore the igorance that came along with it. I bought an old bike (see *Ciao, Old Schwinn below) from a shop that donated its money to third world countries and I rode it almost everywhere I went within the city. I enjoyed driving through side streets and stopping to pay attention to the city's history. Lake Shore Drive was just beautiful and breathtaking. Particularly, in the summer when Navy Pier lit up the skies at night.

After a while Chicago became cold. Both physically and emotionally. Something was telling me to slow down and smell the roses. Roses freeze in 35 degree weather, so think about somewhere warm and "Texas Toasty". Yup. I packed up and moved to Texas (*see Livin' in the Lone Star State).

Apple offered me a Human Resources management position at one of their stores in Dallas. I took the job and the chance that later on I would find something better. Apple became sour and I realized that I have every opportunity to do something else with my life. A complete 360. One morning I got up earlier than normal and launched myself on 'creative hotlist'. I got a call back almost immediately and after 2 interviews I find myself now enjoying sweet cherries again.

I have a job in design which is great, I live somewhere where its physically and emotionally warm and enjoying my life.

I laughed for an hour today.

I was minding my own business cleaning my place and I turned the TV on for some company. Has anyone in this world besides my brother and I seen "The Money Pit" with Tom Hanks? Every step of that movie and every wacked out movement that Tom Hanks makes is priceless. Please go rent it. Here's a clip:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Oj15gi7x6mg&mode=related&search=

Livin' in "The Lone Star State"

Picture 1

I know. It's been a while. Things have been pretty hectic in my life. The last you heard from me was when I saw Blues legend Buddy Guy. That was a while ago. 

I moved to Texas in April. I took my perrty little feet and decided to just jump up and go. I thought to myself, one day and said, "I wanna move to Texas!" The next thing I knew I was traveling down the flat plains in "Black Majic" and hitting the low-lands. It was a spur of the moment decision and so far, I have no regrets. I just miss my Daddy and my friends in the good ol 'Windy City'. What a beautiful city it is.

Texas is great. I have to say, it's nothing like anywhere else I've visited. Coming from the 'Mountain Mama' of West Virginia, I sure as hell am not used to so much flat land! You can see for miles and miles!!! And nothing takes my breath away like a Texas Sunset. Life is a world slower down here. People are friendly. You can drink this stuff called 'Sweet Tea' and eat a 'Frito Pie' almost anywhere you go. Everywhere in Dallas is perfectly landscaped. And its hotter than the bejesus outside.

I feel like I made a good choice. I'm happy, more relaxed, less stressed. Moving here made me realize how important it is to take one day at a time. I can almost call myself a Texan. 

For now that is it. I will keep on keepin on with my writings and fill you in on small details weekly. Promise. 

=-) C

True Blue's...Buddy Guy

Picture 2

To be quite honest with you, love listening to the Blues. You don't have to be a real fanatic to get into it. Not just when I went to 'Famous Dave's' Barbecue Chains either.

A friend and co-worker of mine told me about some tickets to a Buddy Guy show he could reserve for us if we wanted to go. I thought, "What the hell, I'll bring my Dad (he likes Buddy Guy), meet some people from work there and drink the rest of the Sam Adams Christmas Ale they had left."

The story behind Buddy Guy is that he is huge in Chicago. Canada too, and I know this by reading the bathroom stalls everytime I had to take a whiz. Supposedly, Canadian chics love Buddy Guy? I wonder if they say "Buddy-Gee", you know, 'cuz they're Canadian and all?

Anyway, he's a real entertainer. I loved it. Buddy came out into the audience every now and again and sang to the young white chics. He stopped by my path a couple times, drank his Remy, and went on. What a cute old man. He did have on the whitest pair of tennis-shoes that I have ever seen.

A little later on in the night I remember looking at Buddy a few times and just enjoying his music. Enjoying his passion for what he does and how much soul he put into it......

As I was enjoying some blues and the rest of my beer, I realized I needed to go enjoy the bathroom one more time before we left.....this trip to the bathroom I realized that not only Canadian chics love Buddy, but Scottish ones too! Damn.

When I left the bathroom, I saw Vince Vaughn and his "posse". I saw some college guys giving him high-fives like they think he is, in real life, the "Wedding crashers" charachter that he played, some people shaking his hands and taking pictures, but I ain't one to go all nuts when I see a celeb and he was in my path so I gave him a little shove. That's all I have to say about that.

Good food too! Killer cheeseburger and fries and stuff. If you are ever in Chicago go see Buddy Guy at Buddy Guy's Legends. I think they might be letting the original hot-spot go sometime in June, so get there fast and be original not lame.

Hexahedron Pandamonium

Box1

Since the beginning of Summer of '06 I realized that I was bored and I had to figure out what I could do with my hands. I needed to give my eyes a break from the screen and do something thar required some elbow grease.

I never took a sewing class, I can't really paint or draw (even though I went through 4 years of Art College), but I remember how much I loved cutting out the matting for the presentation of my horrible artwork.

So I gave birth to box-making. I got up the courage to visit The Paper Source downtown Chicago and spend hours looking at all of the paper, textures, colors, feels, and even smells. In fact, the smell of PVA drying on bookboard is one of my favorites. ----- I have to stop for a minute and say that quite possibly the smell of glue is more appealing to me that fresh baked bread, of course.----

I have only given away 2 of my handmade cubes. For some reason I have to learn to part but parting is hard when you have put so much work and detail into something.

James Vest, a co-worker and friend, was just as excited! He wrote down some sizes and put me to work. My little creations are now going to be a special part of someone's Christmas gift!

Kramer's gone Cosmo!

Cosmo_Kramer_by_PixelTribe

Something is obviously up with Michael Richards.

I think what he has done is seriously screwed up but I can't help but believe that he has some kinda crazy plight happening in his life that causes my noodle-creating friend to be so in-humane.

I went out and bought the Seinfeld series (every freakin' one of them) at Circuit City. I watched them at night or when I need a good laugh. I think Cosmo Kramer's character is brilliant. George Kastanza drives me crazy but, intentional. And, sometimes, I close my eyes when Jerry is talking, I can't figure out if it's Larry David?

Point being, I love the show. It's one of my favorites. But I'm ruined now because everytime I see Cosmo break through the door, I have a feeling of abhorrence and pity that I can't block.

Mr. Richards, your apology on Letterman last night was the pea under the princess' bed. You have opened up a rancid jar of hatred that this country needs to work on. Rebuild yourself.

I'm speechless.

Ciao, Old Schwinn....

Picture 1

The end of the month came pretty sadly. My bike, my baby, bit the dust. Penelope was a 1974 Schwinn Breeze,
kelley green, generators and all. It was, like, the best bike ever. I mean, even the handlebars sparkled.

One day I decided to wear a long sleeve shirt over my tank top and I got hot. So I pulled over, took my shirt off, and tied it around my waist. Now, I'm not stupid. I know that if there is ANYTHING hanging, it will get caught in my gears, so I made sure I was cool. As I was riding past the Chicago Tribune I noticed my back tire just skiddddddd. Yep. At that moment, my heart broke along with my back gasket caught like a struggling fish out of water in a fisherman's net.

Luckily, there was a security guard hanging out in front of the Tribune building. So I walked Penelope over to safety and asked the security guard if he had a knife. To my surprise, he pulled out an old black and pink rusty.

I walked back over, and straddled my bike and went away at the back gasket and the shirt like an eager surgeon. I cut and pulled and I cut and I pulled, until I finally freed the shirt from its Anaconda death grip on Penelope.

I hopped back on my bike to make sure I could pedal, but to my dismay, the chain was completely off track. Sigh.

Mr. Security Guard must have felt my pain. He came over with a bottle of Windex and some paper towels. Bless his heart, but what the words'  Windex going to do for embedded grease in my fingers?

As I was electing on what I should do next, Randy showed up like 'the greatest cowboy to ever ride into the Wild West, from Poland.' (Those of you know who I am talking about.) Randy was the Chicago Tribunes' handy man who broke the bad news to me that Penelope was in a coma.

So, what should I do? I love riding a bike. I love my Schwinn Breeze but I can't walk it to work the rest of the way. So I leave her laying there all locked up and on life support until I can rescue her again.

I know what you are thinking. But I did the opposite. I went out and bought a new Schwinn. Didn't really want to drop the funds for it but I have to have a bike and I don't know how much it would be to fix Penelope. She still bears a special place in my heart, and in my basement.